Do you often get looks from your Caucasiany friends when you pour soy sauce over potato chips with a pinch of salt? Or find yourself licking salt sticks to pass the time? Enjoy salty saltines? CHARLIE, TOO! Academic types and medicine people will caution you from eating too much salt. It gives you diabetes, it raises your blood pressure, blah blah blah. Pay no attention. White doctors are jealous of your fine porcelain skin and strong cheek bones. Asian genes make us immune to these so-called facts. EAT LOADS OF IT.
Salt as a meal is a wonderfood, a titan on Foodopolis. It kills bacterial infections like the common cold, fevers and chlamydia. And most important, it adds a magical dimension to eating, even in ice cream. Love cheese? Salt builds cheese. Like cakes? Salt is important. Like puppies? Puppies are made of 95% salt. Bon iodine!
Remember how Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt as she turned to see Sodom’s destruction? I bet she would taste delicious in a tomato bisque.
Tags: caucasian doctors, cheese, facts, gay, ice cream, lies, pearl cream, puppies, salt, saltines
