“I keep getting a boner in class. Its (sic) really annoying and potentially embarrasing (sic) considering second part of final is presentation.”- Text message from Charlie a year ago today
POLITICAL OPINION ALERT: Charlie Tu finds it insulting that a “country” with a dismal Human Rights record would spend its time and money on a blah issue such as Food Safety for kids. Is this really a top concern, comrades? The country of course is China, and its ads from the Beijing Women & Children’s Development Foundation are horrific. Such a nightmare. Baby Charlie Tu dreamt this once when his family was still trapped in the old country in which he too fed on pizza slices topped with shards of glass and hamburgers as scorpion bugs. In the dream however the snowman in a french fry bush didn’t cry for Charlie. He just laughed and laughed and laughed. Like we do now.
“Is his world really safe?”
Charlie Tu has decided that umami (旨味) a basic taste characterized as “tasty”, “brothy”, “meaty” a/k/a MSG is his new favorite seasoning and has thus retired salt as his flavor companion to every dish. CANCER!
Commentary of the Day via Facebook re “Umami”
Charlie discovered yet another reason to look in the mirror and cry: a comic strip that ran in newspapers nationwide from the 1920s to the 1980s starring a fortune-cookie-spouting ethnic stereotype named Ching Chow. Mr. Ching was based on Charlie’s great-grandfather, an immigrant whose calligraphy skills secured him a modest job as an assistant colorist at the Himmler comic syndicate in Chicago.
According to unsubstantiated family lore, Charlie’s grandfather submitted a proposal for an illustrated version of the Tao Te Ching, a sacred 1,500-year-old text that forms the basis for several religions. His white employer was so taken with the proposal that he commissioned instead a white man with little talent and even less imagination to take up his pen to convey the true Chinese experience. Hence, Ching Chow:
Doesn’t this just perfectly communicate the wisdom and mystery of our fine Oriental brothers?
If Charlie Tu had to raise any terror alert it would be for an empty coffee cup. Never forget! Thankfully some savvy t-shirt designer has come up with something to help.
Meet David Choe. His new AZN superhero (Korean vampire?) is inspiration for Charlie Tu’s upcoming Spring 2010 fashions, sans the cleavage. Like Charlie she is a street-walker whose favorite color is fuchsia. Her phobias include Persians and parsnip and her powers: breaking hearts and powerful Donkey Punch. Has this designer been reading Charlie Tu’s diary? Check out more here.
Oh Hi! Charlie Tu’s new job has perks. His boss lady, aka, ‘Charlie you need to pick up lunch’ is taking him to Market Table with one of their artist clients. (He works with the avant-garde.) Market Table is known for its hamburgers and Charlie Tu is amped to eat one. We did a Google fact check of the “hamburger” and found that it’s some sort of sandwich consisting of a cooked patty of ground beef placed in an open bun or between two slices of bread. Say what? I hope Charlie can handle it.
Tyralator: Click-oncé
